Created by ep@cise.ufl.edu on Wed Feb 22 16:12:24 EST 1995
Last edited: Sat May 15 12:00:12 2004 by ep (Ed Porras) on espresso.digressed.net
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Barcelona

While this was probably my favorite part of my trip to Europe, a sequence of events took place where I thought it can't get any worse and it just wouldn't stop! This page contains one of the funniest stories I've told my friends since I came back - of course, back then I didn't feel it was ONE bit funny.

If you want to skip the email, you can go straight to the Tips and Gallery section.

What my Friends Heard

Approximate message date: May 11, 1994

hey hey hey!!! how are you guys doing? I hope everyone had a good, refreshing, and relaxing break!! hope you slept a lot, tanned a lot, and laid tons of pipe!!

Last week we reserved the car for our trip... we wanted a golf because we've had pretty good luck with them, but as you all know car rental places have like 5-6 categories to rent under and compact refers to about 4-5 different cars including VW golf, Opel corsa, Opel astra, and a couple of Fords... so, Thursday we had it all planned out as follows:

  • 12:00 pm, get out of class
  • 12:15 - pick up car @ Europcar
  • 12:30 - check e-mail: Susi should have sent me her address and ph# in Barcelona..
  • 13:00 - back at apartment.. get everything ready.. pack all our stuff..
  • 13:30 - go to store - buy snacks, and drinks...
  • 14:00 - pick up Marc at work and bolt out of here like it was our JOB!!

but of course, what actually happened was:

  • 12:10 - get out of class.. they held us longer..

  • 12:25 - got to Europcar.. guy said sorry, we don't have any cars left

    I said look, jerky, you do not need to see my identification. You will take me to see your imperial leader now.

    The imperial leader found my reservation and said The force is very strong in you. However, we don't have any golfs.. we have a few Opel Astra Combi..

    I said That's a damn long name for a car. We'll take it.. when I went outside I found out that Combi means station wagon.. yech!!..

  • 12:50 - went to the lab.. logged in..

    you have 1 mail message

    YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!... then I read it and found out it wasn't Susi's.. uh.. huh huh... .. uh.... mhmm.

  • 13:20 - back at the apartment.. called Marc at work:

    E: dude, Susi didn't write, so we don't have her address and ph #

    M: that's nice, what do we do now?

    E: I say let's just go there and find her.. I have her old address.. she just moved a week ago...

    M: let's do it!!.

    so, I finished getting everything ready and loaded the car..

  • 14:00 - forget eating.. I'll eat later on with Marc (bad mistake: he loves McMaggot's.. he thinks Ronald Mcdonald is God).. get to Marc's work... wait.. and wait.. and wait.. he didn't get out until 2:45...
  • 15:00 - back at the apartment after stopping for big macs.. Marc had to send some letter before leaving...
  • 15:35 - finally left.. we estimated 10 hour drive... (yeah... sure)...

So, we started the trip.. we drove through Liege, Belgium, and then took the A-bahn south towards Luxemburg... About 3 hours later we were there... pretty neat country.. very, very small... we missed half of it because we blinked.. then came the nightmare of all nightmares: the French A-bahn... don't get me wrong.. they're nice roads.. the country side is beautiful... they have these nifty arrows painted on parts of the road to help you judge whether you're too close to the car in front of you... they have awesome radio stations.. but the tolls are FREAKIN' INSANE!!!!! We get to the first tool both and pick up our ticket.. ok .. that's cool... then we think.. mhmmm.. we didn't get any francs.. how are we going to pay for this?? mhmmm.. ok.. that was smart thinking, eh? well, it wouldn't have helped anyways.. we drove through Nancy, Dijon, and got off (ahem.. exited the highway) at Lyon without paying anything (YET)... ok... we were hungry... let's find an ATM, and take out money for food and tolls... NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!! we didn't find ONE machine that would take my card, and his paycheck wouldn't have cleared yet... nice!! as if that wasn't bad enough, it took us an HOUR to get out of this madness of a city.. what a ridiculous road organization!! this was insane!!! there were all these detours all over the city, and millions of signs (except none indicating how to get out!!).. and it felt like you were in one of those city races... we were driving so nutty we even lost TWO hubcaps!!!.. nice car!!! finally, we took off (it was about 10 pm)... and finally reached the pay plaza.. ok we were worried.. but then, salvation: they take plastic! SWEET!!! aww yeah... what a relief... I drove up to the lady.. give her my card and read the price: 115 fr..

uh.. ... ummm.... huh?

*DING!*

Is that like $20? TWENTY DOLLARS!!!! and that's ONE toll!!!!! there would be THREE more before reaching the FREAKIN' BORDER!!! we spent over FIFTY DOLLARS O-N-E W-A-Y just in TOLLS!!!!

GEEEZ!!! see if I ever complain about paying $2.50 on the bee line!! AAALLLLRRIIIiiighty then!!!

depressed, we kept on driving...

We finally reached the border at 3:30 am (baaad quality).. from there it would be about 1¼ hours... we got into town.. and didn't even think about trying to find Susi at this time, so we parked the car and put the back seat down and fell asleep... I mean, thank god we got a station wagon, otherwise forget it!!!

We woke up at 8.. we wanted to get MONEY, so we could get FOOD, and call around to find Susi so we could go to the BATHROOM, and SHOWER, and SHAVE!!! we drove around, and couldn't find anything that resembled a bank.. so I stopped the car, and went into a bakery to ask for directions... . now, this was hilarious!! this was the first time in 7 years that I'd been in a Spanish-speaking country... but I must looked like such a gringo with my Gator sweatshirt and my Knicks hat that when I spoke to the lady asking her for a bank she was talking sooo slowly at me... I'm thinking to myself: what the hell is your problem?... she was like: ok.. right there on the corner across the street.. (she came out front, and walked me to the door.. and pointed at the bank) you see it? there's a bank, right there.. do you understand?.. just walk right there.. ok? I was like totally worried.. was my Spanish that bad or something? I understood everything she said... but what the hell was all this business about?.. turns out the Barcelonians are the most incredibly generous people I've ever met!!! I went to the bank and was helped like a king.... they told me how to dial local calls, told me where there was a pay-phone.. gave me change for the phone.. dude.. it was sweet!!! I was totally impressed with these people!!!

Now, there is a lot of conflict between the locals about the Catalan-Spanish thing.. there is a lot of Catalan people who will not speak Spanish to you.. but they whole time we didn't have any problems at all...

So we go money.. found La Diagonal, which is the main roadway that cuts diagonally through downtown, and got some stuff to eat.. dudes: you likee the food!!! aww yeah!!! we got the traditional bocadillos, which are basically hoagies with more like mini french-bread... they are served everywhere with jamón serrano, jamón dulce, tortillas (omelettes), and whatever you want basically.. then we bought map, found Susi's street and headed down there...

It wasn't too far away.. I got to the building and there was a sign saying the building was closed.. nice!! I knocked for the hell of it... and it just happen so that the lady who lived in Susi's apartment was on her way out (what are the chances?)... she gave me the phone numbers of both of Susi's roommates, and fortunately one of them was actually her new number.. so we found them!!!

Now to fill you guys in: Susi is my friend Javier's girlfriend... Javier and I met in high school in Venezuela, and turns out that we both moved to Florida during the same summer... he ended up in St Pete, and I in Lake Mary.. we kept in touch and now we are both going to UF, and this past year we both lived in the same complex.. small world, eh? well, last December, Susi moved from Gainesville to Barcelona to do grad school... turns out that I was coming to Germany, and Javier was going to visit her, so we agreed on meeting in Barcelona!! Is that wild or what??

When I finally got a hold of her place, she wasn't home, but Javier was.. he said they were going to be busy until about 4.. so Marc and I decided to spend time productively... we HIT THE MEDITERRANEAN the beachBEACH!!!! SWEET!!
We got the tans from hell!! finally!! oh.. it felt good to have color again!! you guys weren't the only ones hitting the sand this weekend!!! and you likee the topless ACTION!!!! I was like daytona? what is that?

I bought myself the best bacardi and coke I've ever had (it was actually ½ and ½ on a 0.4 liter glass!!!).. that was an insane drink!!! after admiring the horizon (among things) we took a nap in the sun... then we walked down to the olympic village, which is where the athletes lived and were fed, and went to the beach, and sunbathed... and then headed for Susi's...

It was pretty neat seeing them again.. Javier was my first contact from Florida since Bob and Dave left... and this is awesome: in Spain you say hi to the girls by kissing them on both cheeks.. swwweeeeeeeeeeet... in Venezuela it was only on one cheek, but I didn't mind the tradition or the extra effort.. We showered, shaved, and all the other necessities... Susi and Javier fed us like wild monsters.. it just seemed like it wasn't going to stop!!!... Susi made tortillas (remember, omelettes.. that's what they're called in Spanish.. not tortillas like chilli's tortillas).. and pita with jamón serrano and veggies, and salchichón (type of sausage)... dude.. talk about all you can eat!!

That night we took the bus down to Las Ramblas which is a very famous street where there's all these little kiosks, and all the people walk, and get robbed by gypsies... it was awesome... and about the Spanish señoritas: E-X-T-R-E-M-E G-O-O-O-O-O-O-D Q-W-A-L-I-T-Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I won't take any more time on that subject, but it was sweet...

oh... you guys will not believe this: we found a video game place where they have (you ready?) actual 4-huge-screen-sit-in-motion VIRTUA RACING!!!! SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!! this was awesome!!!! fortunately, both Javier and Marc were pretty good, so we played together (with some other dude who was a total loser and couldn't drive but to test airbags) and we had the awesomest VR race I've ever been in!!!! oh man.. you actually sat in a car... and smoke (it was more like dance-club fog) poured out of the tail pipes when you started the race and these cars shook like MAD!!!! dude it was totally realistic!! the race was so close I must have finished first by a nose!! good quality.. I have pictures of this place.. can't wait to show you guys..

The next day we downtown toured the city by metro and foot... Marc went to the Picasso museum while Javier and I walked around .. we had an awesome lunch for an unbelievable price: $7 bought me a Catalan salad (veggies with chorizo, ham, cheese), tornero de lomo en champiñones (meat in mushroom sauce), peaches in syrup for dessert and a coke... what a deal!!!

We visited the olympic stadium (where they happened to have football posts up because there is actually football teams in Spain!!!), the pools (where they filmed the final section of the SI92 swimsuit video), and the rest of the olympic paraphernalia, various neat buildings around town, a 'college-day' type thing (where we actually found US schools including UF - SWEET!!! go gators!!), monuments, plazas, etc...

That night, Susi's roommate had a couple of friends over, and you wouldn't believe this crowd: 2 Venezuelans (guess..), 2 Colombians (2 of Susi's rommates), 1 Mexican (the other roommate), 1 Chilean (Susi), 2 Americans that studied Spanish and that's all they wanted to speak: one from Seattle, the other from Colorado (the friends) and 1 German (Marc).

Interesting, eh? the funniest thing was all the different forms of Spanish that everyone spoke... every country has it's own sayings that are pretty hilarious and don't make any sense if you don't know what they mean...

Sunday morning wanted to see the cathedral Cathedral of La Sagrada Familia, which is the biggest thing to see in Barcelona... it has been under construction for about 100 years and it's still not done!!! and you thought I-75 is taking long, eh? the story behind it is that the big daddy architect (I can't remember his name) who started to build it around the turn of the century worked on it for about 20 years, until things beyond his control (i.e: death) prevented him from continuing.. so ever since it has been loads of different architects who have worked on it, each with his/her own ideas, and to the point where this thing looks like soup because there's so many different components from different times... to make things worst, the can only work on it with what little they make from charity, so who knows when they are going to finish it...

Anyways.. that day we left around noon... we decided to take a little more side roads to avoid a national debt because of the tolls, but this was also pretty bad because by 9 pm we weren't even ¾ of the way there!!! then we said forget this and took the A-bahn the rest of the way... around 3:45am we finally made it to Liege, Belgium (about 20 minutes from Aachen) yeeess!! so close to home!!! finally can go to bed!!! I had to get gas.. so we stopped at our friendly Belgian shell station, pumped about 30 liters and gave the guy my visa only to her him say sorry.. no credit cards.

WWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? (Don't ever mess with another man's rhubarb, my friend)

what kind of freaking gas station doesn't take credit cards? geeez!!! we stood there for a sec, and obviously there was only one thing to do: I drove back to Aachen, while Marc froze his nuts off at the gas station.. I was PISSED OFF!! I was cursing everyone on the way to Aachen.. oh man!!!!

So I get there.. drive in to town looking for the Sparkasse bank... I only knew where one was, but it was in the dead center of town.. so I found another one.. walked up to it... and the teller doesn't open until 6 am till 12 midnight!!!! this is an AUTOMATED MACHINE!!! it doesn't NEED to be closed for SIX HOURS!!!!!! so I went to the one I know.. I have to drove through part of town where you're not supposed to drive cars.. only people walk on there!! I run to the machine.. put my card in... request 100dm...

your request cannot be completed

damn!!! what the hell? ok.. hell with it.. credit card...

your request cannot be completed

NGHGHNG!!!! nice time for the transatlantic connection to be down!!! I was not feeling too optimistic... and in the mean time Marc is freezing in Belgium... ok.. think.. call Andi.. he's gotta help you... run to the car.. get the brain.... run to the phone across the ATM.. pick up the receiver.. put the phone card in... dial the number.. mhmmm.. this receiver feels funny... look at it... the damn thing has NO EAR-PIECE!!!! GOD DAAAAAMMNNNNN ITTTT!!!!!! OK, who has the damn VOODOO doll????!!!!

I drive to Andi's (it's now 4:45am).. wake him up.. tell him what's going on.. we go to the bank.. and the teller won't take his card because it is broken along the magnetic stripe... by now I was delirious.. I was laughing... I was insane... you would think I'm making all this up, but I'm NOT!!! all events are real... are characters are real!! finally, he uses a different teller and gets me 100dm.. I take him home.. and bolt back to Belgium...

needless to say.. we got home close to 6:30... and slept all day...

Geezz... so that's the extent of the Barcelona trip.. I did have a blast, but what a horrendous way to end it... since then we've been just recuperating, and going back to the everyday life..

until later.. have fun guys, talk to ya soon...

Tips

  • Definitely shop around if you plan to rent a car. At the time National Car Rental (Europcar is their European affiliate) had the best rates; we called EVERYBODY, trust me. We made our reservation about 3 weeks before we left.
  • Take advantage of your credit card's damage / collision / theft protection on car rentals as it'll save you a bundle! Check the terms of the protection carefully: I believe my card covered for a period of only 14 days. If you need a car longer than that, then do what we did: split the rental for 2 smaller periods. National didn't care; we just dropped one off and got the other one.
  • Keep in mind:
    1. Gas is expensive as balls out there ($3-$4 per gallon).
    2. Tolls are also insane (read the above email if you don't believe me).
    3. Get your International Driver's License at your nearby AAA. It's only about $10 and you can use it pretty much anywhere.
    4. Watch out for the highway-speeding-cams.
  • About ATM's: A lot of European ATM's do read Cirrus and Plus. But don't expect your card to work everywhere. Some only take Plus, others only Cirrus, others take neither. Sometimes the trans-atlantic link might be down.
  • Spain is VERY far from other European countries. It might be better to leave Spain for a trip in the future and spend your time on northern Europe: more countries to see.